A Creation Story

In the beginning there was nothing, only water.

On Earth, that is.

In the Sky, there was a lovely world with people and animals and everything all set up, and quite nicely, I might add.

So in Sky there lived a woman, who was probably too curious for her own good. Once, the woman was talking with Moose and asked him why he was so big.

Well, said Moose. And he promptly flew away.

The Sky world is a very odd and cryptic place.

Anyway, let's give this woman a name, so I don't have to call her "the woman" for the entire story. How about ... Poinsettia. Yes, that'll do. We can always change it later if it doesn't work out.

So, Poinsettia was out for a walk in the mountains one day, when she came upon Snow Leopard.

Hello, said Snow Leopard, Nice day for a walk, isn't it?

Why yes, replied Poinsettia, It is. I've been feeling rather out-of-sorts lately, so I was thinking that a nice walk might do me some good.

Out-of-sorts? said Snow Leopard, How so?

Well, said Poinsettia, I think I'm hungry, but I don't know what I want to eat.

Hm, said Snow Leopard, pondering. Finally an idea came to her and she said, Are you pregnant? I always get cravings when I'm pregnant.

Well, that makes sense, I suppose I must be, replied Poinsettia. What do you suggest?

Well, said Snow Leopard, I rather enjoy chocolate, but I don't think you'll find that around here anywhere, so maybe try for Red Fern Root. Badger can help you find that.

Now, Poinsettia didn't think that Red Fern Root grew so high up in the mountains, nor did she think that Badger lived so high up, but Sky world was pretty messed up sometimes, so she shrugged, thanked Snow Leopard, and went in search of Badger.

Poinsettia didn't find Badger, but she did find Coyote.

Hey, said Coyote, Over here!

What's over there? asked Poinsettia.

I found a hole in the ground, come see! he said.

Poinsettia knew that the best way to get Coyote to leave you alone was to come take a look at whatever is was, in this case the hole, say how lovely it looked, and be on your way, so she went over to take a look.

When she got there, Poinsettia pretended to be interested by the hole.

What do you think's inside? asked Coyote.

I don't know, said Poinsettia, who was now thinking that maybe she could find, inside this rather large hole in the ground, Badger, or at least the Red Fern Root.

Wanna look inside? asked Coyote. You could probably crawl in there, but you have to go alone. I've just come back from hunting, so I'm too tired to go with you.

So Poinsettia agreed to climb into the hole because she might find this Red Fern Root thing. Plus, she wanted to find out where it led to.

After Poinsettia had tunnelled pretty far through the hole, it stopped.

Poinsettia stuck her head out to see what was at the end of the hole, but all she saw was the blackness of space. So she stuck her head out a little farther, and to the left was a planet all covered in water.

She wanted to get a better look at it, so she stuck her head out of the hole even farther, and, to her surprise, she tumbled out of the hole and fell, with great speed, towards Earth -- the planet covered with water.

Well, that's what I get for listening to Coyote, she thought to herself as she tumbled through space.

Meanwhile, over on Earth, all the water creatures were having a blast splashing and singing that song -- "Splish Splash, I was a takin' a bath..." -- when they noticed something in the sky.

Ohmigod! shouted the Ducks, It's a person!

The Ducks weren't really concerned for Poinsettia; they were mostly concerned about the fact that her weight plus the speed with which she was falling would mean that she was going to cause a rather large wave, due to the Displacement Theory.

Hey, wow! said Rainbow Trout, I wonder how she's flying like that -- but he never finished what was he was saying, because at that exact moment, Poinsettia landed, causing a rather large wave, as the Ducks had foreseen.

Once the wave had passed, all the water animals came over to ask Poinsettia where she'd come from. She told them.

But I'm getting tired of swimming, she said once she'd finished, And it would be nice if I didn't drown, since I'm pregnant and all.

The animals nodded in uderstanding, and finally Turtle agreed to carry Poinsettia on her back.

But you can't stay here once your baby comes, said Turtle, there just won't be enough room.

That's true, said Poinsettia as she looked around at Turtle's back and saw that there really wouldn't be enough room. What we need is some land, she added.

Land? asked all the animals, What's that?

Well, I'll show you, said Poinsettia, All I need is some mud from the bottom of this ocean-thing.

Okay! said the animals, excited to play a game. And one by one they all tried to find some mud. First Rainbow Trout went, but the bottom was too dark for him to see any mud, let alone get any. Next went some of the Ducks, but it was too cold down there for them. Walrus decided she might have a try, saying that her blubber could keep her warm, but she couldn't find any mud either.

Finally, when nearly everyone had given up, Otter decided that it might be fun to go in search of some mud. So she swam down to the bottom of the ocean-thing, and it was nearly an hour before she came up.

Maybe we should send down a search party, Poinsettia suggested. And so the Ducks went down to look for Otter. When they brought her back up, it looked as thought she were dead.

Nooo!! cried Dolphin, perhaps a little over-dramatically.

Alas, poor Otter, chorused the Ducks, We knew her well.

Relax, said Poinsettia, She isn't dead.

And in fact, Otter was more exhausted than dead, and clutched tightly in her little paws was -- you guessed it -- some mud from the bottom of the ocean-thing.

That wasn't as fun as I thought it would be, she said, So this magic stuff had better be good.

Oh it will be, said Poinsettia, Don't worry.

Everyone got all excited with the idea of magic, and started chattering and wondering about what it would be like.

Quiet! said Poinsettia, It'll work better if you don't talk.

So she stood with the mud on Turtle's back, and Poinsettia danced and sang until the little bit of mud turned into a rather large piece of land.

That's a pretty neat trick, said Coyote from his air-mattress in between sips of his martini. But watch this --

NO!! shouted all the animals.

But it's really great --

Can't you see we're creating a world, here? said Walrus, We're very busy.

A world, eh? said Coyote, Sounds fun. Can I watch?

Well, all right, said Poinsettia, But only if you promise not to do any dancing.

Okay, said Coyote, No dancing. I promise.

And no singing, said Poinsettia.

Okay. No singing either. I promise, said Coyote.

Okay.

And so Poinsettia finished creating the world, and it was all a rather large piece of dirt and mud.

Er, said Coyote, That's kinda boring.

Yes, agreed the Ducks, It is.

Well, said Poinsettia, I suppose I could make it more interesting.

But she never got the chance, because at that moment, she gave birth to twins. One was dark and one was pale. One was a girl, and the other was a boy.

Those are some nice kids, said the animals.

Thanks, said Poinsettia.

And then the twins went about messing with the world.

What are you doing? the Ducks asked the pale twin.

I'm making straight rivers and square oceans and lakes to go through this rather large piece of land, he said. That way you can all travel to different sections of it. I'm also making the current in the rivers flow both ways, so it's easy for you all to travel.

Oh, they said, That's very nice of you.

Then they saw the dark twin making the rivers all crooked and making the lakes and oceans un-square.

Why are you doing that? asked the Ducks.

Well, she replied, It's much more interesting this way.

And she promptly made it so that rivers only flowed one way.

Well, said the Ducks, That's okay too, I guess.

And so it went, whenever the pale twin made something, the dark twin messed with it a little. The pale twin made trees and plants and grew them in orderly lines, and the dark twin made it so that they grew every which way, and all crooked-like sometimes, too -- which is why forests are so confusing nowadays.

The pale twin made the lands all flat so you could see everywhere, and the dark twin gave them hills and valleys and mountains.

The pale twin made roses, and the dark twin gave them thorns.

The twins each made a bunch of people, too -- one made men and one made women.

Soon enough, all the world was finished. Both twins shook hands and were very pleased with themselves.

That's great, said the Ducks, But are you sure you want those human things? It doesn't seem like they're going to be very useful.

Don't worry, said Coyote, It'll be fine. And he laughed his Coyote-laugh and walked off into the sunset, sipping his martini.

Well, said Poinsettia, I think the story's just about finished.

That was a good story, said Snow Leopard, who was slightly unintelligible because she was in the middle of eating some Red Fern Root.

-Katsune

August 2, 2004